Possibilities: Heartbreaking Comfort
by Violet Enigma
Summary: Anders must convince Fenris to go and comfort a F.Hawke after the loss of her mother. Part of my "Possibilities" one-shots, which will eventually turn into a linear tale once the muses stop bouncing me all around the story.


A/N: I've never published anything on a fanfic before, but I've gotten a few written down and this was my favorite. Let me know what you think. This takes place near the end of Act 2.

Also, I fully intend to bring all my "Possibilities" stories into one long chapter story, I'd prefer is to be a linear tale, not episodic. And currently the muses see fit to bounce me around the tale.

Disclaimer: DragonAge is owned by Bioware, I just like to play there.

Anders looked up at the door of the dilapidated mansion, _his_ mansion as dusk settled over the city. He did not want to be here, but she needed him. He sighed to himself, wishing Marian needed him as much as she seemed to need the elf. He had managed to lose their little competition for her heart, and it killed him to see her stare at the elf the way he wished she would stare at him. Anders was still in love with her, but she didn't love him and it hurt everyday.

**Be done with this. We have things to do.**

Anders sighed again as he stepped up to the door and knocked. He doubted Fenris wouldn't actually answer the door, but he knocked anyway. He waited a few moments and knocked again. Varric had assured him Fenris was here, so he tested the door. When he found it wasn't locked, he let himself in and headed towards the room Fenris usually stayed in. He could see the glow of the fire in Fenris's room, and he noticed the elf sitting in front of the fire.

As he stepped up to the door, Anders looked around the room. Empty wine bottles were everywhere and there was another in the elf's hand. Fenris wasn't looking at the wine bottle; he was fingering the red scarf Hawke had found for him after their night together. He actually looked upon it with such sadness.

_Maker, I can't do this. I can't send him to her. She's in pain I know, but can't she see I love her still? She doesn't need him, _I_ understand her, we're both mages after all._

"Did you come here for a reason, Anders?" Fenris asked, interrupting Anders's train of thought.

"She needs you," Anders whispered into the room.

"What?"

"She needs you. Something has happened and she needs you," Anders explained moving into the room.

Anders could only watch as Fenris leaped from his seat, and crossed the room to him.

"What? What has happened?" Fenris growled, grabbing Anders robes and pulling him close. "Tell me!"

"I need to sit down," Anders explained, gently pulling his robes free from Fenris's grasp. Anders moved to the other seat and sat on the edge, staring at his hands.

"You remember how the templar Emeric was getting help from Marian to investigate the disappearances of those women?" Anders began, still staring into his hands.

"Yes, do you think me stupid?" Fenris growled, moving the other chair so he could watch Anders.

"Did you hear about Gascard, that mage who was investigating the women's disappearances as well? How his story didn't sit right with Hawke, and she ended up killing him and it turned out to be a good thing because he was a blood mage and we suspected him of being the Kirkwall killer?"

"Varric may have mentioned it, the one time I have seen him lately."

"You need to hear this story then, since you have been avoiding her. A few weeks ago, Leandra received white lilies. Later that day, she didn't make her weekly visit with Gamlen. In his worry, Gamlen came to the estate and asked after Leandra. Eventually Bodahn admitted Leandra received the flowers and had possibly gone out to meet this suitor. Marian was immediately suspicious, and met her uncle in Lowtown to try and track down Leandra. They found a boy who had seen Leandra help an injured man. The blood trail brought her back to that blasted foundry. Thankfully she turned back to the Hanged Man to find assistance. Aveline, Varric, Isabela and I were in Varric's suite playing cards. Varric had to stay behind because of a meeting with a contact, but the rest of us joined her without hesitation.

"She filled us in, on the way back to the foundry. I have seen Marian afraid, but she was close to a panic over her mother. We found a smuggler's hatch in the back of the foundry which hadn't been there the first time she was there. Under the foundry was a series of tunnels filled with walking corpses and demons. We battled our way through until we came to what seemed to be some sort of living quarters. The most prominent item there was a large picture of a woman. She looked much like Leandra. There were some differences of course, but _so_ many similarities. We could tell it was a shrine to a loved one, but no idea whether it was a wife or sister.

"Marian by this point is having trouble breathing but will not sit down until she finds her mother. Her steps become faster, and she's running through these tunnels trying to find Leandra. She was almost reckless, but I do not blame her. We finally found him, the Kirkwall killer. He was a blood mage by the name of Quintus, and he had been piecing together his long dead wife from the women he had taken. It was terrible."

Anders reaches for a bottle of wine on the floor Fenris had earlier and takes a big swig before continuing.

"Leandra was the face of the monstrosity he had created. At first I thought Marian would just faint dead away right there at the shock of seeing her mother that way, but it quickly became a rage I have never known her capable of feeling. The blood mage summoned more demons and we were forced to fight him. Marian was a terror, she fought right behind Aveline. I have never seen her unleash so much magic before, and so quickly. Potion after mana potion passed through her lips and she didn't stop casting until the last corpse walked no more. She practically took on Quintus alone, she kept freezing him in place so he couldn't move, couldn't do anything. I think she was hoping you would be there to tear his heart from his chest. In the end, there was nothing to be done. Quintus had been keeping her alive with his magic and when he was killed Leandra had no more time. Even I couldn't help Leandra at that point. She died in Marian's arms."

"What can I do?" Fenris asked when sure Anders' tale was complete.

"I don't know, but she has been wandering around that estate like a ghost. Bodahn says she rarely eats, he doubts she sleeps, and he often finds her at the door to her mother's room staring at the closed door. She is not the Marian we have known the last three or four years, her mother's death has shattered her. She won't allow visitors; none of us have been able to see her these last few weeks. We only have Bodahn's version of these things but we are all worried for her."

"Why would she see me? When I have already caused her so much pain," Fenris stated, not sure where Anders was going with this conversation.

"She loves you!" Anders spat at Fenris, finally looking up from his hands to meet Fenris's eyes. "I may have been the first one to kiss her, but she chose you. She will see you because she loves you. Other than Carver, you may be the only one who can reach her. She blames herself, she blames her abilities, and the guilt is killing her Fenris. She needs you."

Anders could tell his statement surprised the elf. _He had no idea she loved him, lucky bastard._ He waited while Fenris processed the information.

"I…I will go to her," Fenris finally stated. "Though I'm not sure how I will help her."

"Good, that's all we wanted. Do what you can to comfort her," Anders finally said, standing from the chair. "You don't even have to say anything, just listen. Hold her. Be there for her, as I said: she needs you."

With those final words Anders left Fenris' mansion and headed back to his clinic in Darktown, trying to hold together his breaking heart.

**…oo0oo…**

Fenris stared at the fire holding the scarf from Marian after Anders departure. _She loves me, even after I told her we were a mistake. How can that be? I do not regret being with her, only the things I said. She needs me._ One final glance at the scarf, and Fenris rose from his chair, slipping it over his wrist and moved towards the front door. He snagged his sword on the way out, certain he wouldn't need it, but it was always better to have just in case.

He made his short journey through Hightown to the Amell estate. He knocked on the door, hoping Bodahn was still awake. After a few minutes, Bodahn peeked out into the night. After seeing Fenris, shock was the first thing to register but then he opened the door further, and let Fenris into the entryway.

"Master Fenris, I am glad to see you," Bodahn chimed. "But I don't know if Messere Hawke will see you."

"Do not tell her I am here," Fenris stated simply.

"But that would be…impolite," Bodahn insisted.

"I must see her, and I will see her now," Fenris insisted. "You can blame me, if she becomes angry with you."

"As you wish," Bodahn smiled, understanding Fenris' intentions.

Fenris made his way up the stairs to Hawke's room, pausing on the way by to touch Leandra's door. _I will try not to let you down. I will keep my promise to protect her. I'm sorry I could not do the same for you._ Fenris began to take off his sword when he finally noticed Hawke. Her bedroom door was open and she was laying on the edge of the bed staring into the fire. His heart broke for the anguish on her face; she had grown too thin these last few weeks. She had always been thin, but now she looked as if she were wasting away. Her eyes had sunken into her skull, and there here dark bags under those still beautiful turquoise eyes. He did notice a tray of food and water near by, probably Bodahn's attempt to get her to eat.

"I do not know what to say, but I am here," Fenris finally stated. He noticed a shiver pass over Hawke as he spoke. She did not move from her position on the bed, but she reached out a hand in his direction. Fenris unbuckled his breastplate and removed his gauntlets before moving to join her on the bed. Fenris was not sure how much time had passed while he continued to hold her.

"Do you remember your mother?" Hawke finally spoke. Her voice was distant, and broke often from a lack of use and water.

"You know I do not. You are lucky to have known your mother."

"I just thought after those flashes, maybe something came back."

"Hmm, there were not enough memories to really piece anything together."

"Oh."

They resumed their quiet reflection of the fire. Fenris noticed Hawke did not breathe easy, her breathe seemed to come in fits, and bursts as if to keep from crying.

"May I ask a favor?" Fenris finally dared.

"Hmm?"

"Please will you eat that piece of bread? For me?"

Hawke finally turned from the fire to look at Fenris and began searching his olive eyes for something. He was not sure what she found but she finally sat up and reached for the bread he indicated. He watched her nibble on the bread, staring at him. She finally had to drink some of the water too, because the bread was slightly dry. Fenris found himself relaxing a little as she took the timid sips, it's a start.

"Is there anything you need from me?" Fenris asked after she had finished the bread.

"Stay with me, tonight. Please?"

"If that is your wish, then I will stay."

Hawke lay back down on the bed, and Fenris lay behind her, placing a protective arm around her waist. He felt her begin to relax, and slowly fall asleep. He tried to keep watch over her while she slept but soon he also went to visit the Fade.

He was not sure how much time had passed before he was woken up by Hawke whimpering in her sleep. He could tell she was dreaming, but it wasn't until she started awake and screamed "Mother!" that he knew it was a nightmare about the night he was not there for her. He wrapped his arms around her as she began to finally cry. _If this has been occurring the last few weeks, no wonder she wasn't sleeping._ He felt her trying to resist crying.

"You need not still your tears in front of me Hawke, I know you hurt. It's etched in every line on your face and in every breath you take. Let it out, it may help you heal."

"She called me strong, right before she died."

"There are many forms of strength Hawke. Not mourning her passing is not how you honor her words."

Fenris wasn't sure if these were words of wisdom, but they seem to cascade over Hawke and he felt her shake as sobs and tears convulsed through her body. He held her until the tears had abated, and the sobbing convulsions had stopped. He held her as her breathing returned to normal and he felt her grow heavy as she began to fall asleep again.

This time there was no rest for Fenris, he remained holding her. Protecting her while she slept.


End file.
